The wedding !!!!

29th April, 2008

This is now being written at the Serena Hotel in Zanzibar (A fabulous place to stay if you ever get the chance!) All the wedding guests have left, the flowers have been dispersed and the bride and groom, today, are on their way to Botswana for their horse riding honeymoon. Its over, its done - it was aa amazing and wonderful time and hopefully I can tell you something about it, and maybe even include a few photos.

The celebrations started on the Saturday when family and friends started to arrive from all over the world (France, UK, Barbados, Canada, Ireland, plus some 7 other countries!). Many had arrived and gone straight off for a safari prior to the event.

On the Tuesday, I was invited to the womens meeting at Honey Badger (we had by this time moved to a hotel which was next to the venue for the wedding). I dragged Brenda along with me (unfortunately my sister – Hilary – was not yet back from Safari) and they showed us what would be happening at the function on the Saturday. Basically the women from my clan should have gathered and brought together all the things which Jenny would need in her married life – these things are then put in a basket and I then present the basket to Jen, with a ‘few chosen words of wisdom’. However, as my clan was somewhat small (and ignorant of this tradition) the local women gathered together the implements needed. They included locally made wooden utensils, spoons, ladles, a wooden swivel stick which is used to stir the meali porridge or ugali. Wooden bowls and trays and mugs made out of coconuts were also included, as well as THE banana leaf mat – which is used as a birthing mat (no pressure there then Jen!) Also presented was a gas lamp. All these things were put into the basket and there was lots of ululating and singing went with it. I was also advised that my ‘words of wisdom’ should include something along the lines of ‘if your husband sleeps with his head facing north, then you must sleep with your head facing north – etc etc’. We were then invited by the women to go across to the bar for a drink, and there was more singing, ululating and laughter – it was amazing.

Meanwhile the young of the group, had all gone off for a night in the town, boys separated from the girls to eat but they all joined up later I think.

Wednesday, was the day of the legal wedding (equivalent to the Registrars Office) parents and siblings only. We walked over to the venue for the wedding to meet up with Jen and Joey at 9ish. They wanted to check that all was going OK. It wasn’t! The table man had promised 14 round tables, he only had 5, the musicians (The Tanzanites from Dar) had decided not to come today but would come Thurs am!! Luckily Monica (Joey’s cousin) then arrived. She is well known in Tz, and she is an event organizer. She had been brought in to organize the Saturday wedding, and to do the flowers for Thursday – so she took over, and J & J left it all in her very capable (and big!) hands.

We then went along to the registrars office – for those who read the blog about the Hindi wedding – it was in the same place. Old colonial building with a filing system which is still in the dark ages. However, all arrived (and on time!!) except Mama Lucy!!!! Don’t know why she didn’t come, something about being too busy.

The service was lovely – the District Commission did it, and she firstly asked them whether they wanted a monogamous, polygamous, or defer the decision till later, marriage. Then she proceeded to talk about how this marriage ceremony is a legal one and only can be broken by death or divorce, and went into great detail about how to get a divorce! Next came the advice, Do Not Kill Each Other – that is bad! Do not send friends to spy on each other, that also is bad. Etc etc. It was a lovely service tho. Sam, Joey’s brother, and I were witnesses and I forgot to take a hanky!!!!! Luckily there were a few available for me to use. Loads of photo’s taken.

We all then went back to Honey Badger for lunch, picking up friends and family on the way. At three, the girls of the wedding party – left to go back to our hotel to be pampered. We then lazed around the pool, and chilled. At 7pm we had planned to have a BBQ at the hotel for all our guests and friends, and it was a lovely evening. However, it did start to rain at 10 ish – and didn’t stop!!

Our room at the hotel was a wonderfully large and spacious one. The hotel only had 11 rooms and used to be a private house. We had the guest room which opened out onto the pool area/garden as well. Loads of space and mirrors, but not much light (fixed that my asking the manager to put some bulbs in!!!)

We are now Thursday morning – wedding day – and it hadn’t stopped raining since 10 pm last night. It was pouring down – good African rain. But undaunted, Donald got dressed relatively early and cleared out of the room, so that we girls could take it over. Hairdresser (eventually!!) came, but made such a mess of Jen’s hair that it had to be washed and done again (by Helen K), meanwhile the power went out, so there was an element of panic about use of hair dryers.

We had planned to leave at 12 – ceremony to start at 12.30. At 11 ish, Sam came over from the venue with the flowers and informed us “don’t hurry, there is a slight delay – wait for the call” So we opened another bottle and tried to keep Jen cool and calm – it had started to stop raining. All guests were gathered at the venue, but it seems that (a) the room decorations were not yet finished and (b) Mama Lucy had not appeared yet!!!!

We eventually get the go ahead and get the dress on and shoes on and head for the cars. Seemly we arrived just after Lucy – who I understand had a fanfare from the Ngombe group (the local Chagga musicians who were supposed to play to guests whilst the photo’s were being taken).

The hotel looked lovely, there was an aisle strewn with red rose petals and I walked down it on my own saying hi to all as I went – there were quite a few empty seats, but think we expected that people would just drip in when they would.

When I got to my place, on the front row, I looked at Lucy and said hi and gave her a kiss and noticed that Peter (Joey’s Dad) wasn’t there. He had been ill and had had to go to hospital on the Tuesday, and Lucy said that he wasn’t well again. So sorry that he missed the ceremony – but – he appeared at the venue just after the ceremony and looked pretty fit to me. Not sure if this was either his way of not being at the ceremony which was not a Catholic one, whether he had been called away by ‘the government’ to do some work, or the other scenario we heard was that Lucy sent him on an important errant. Either way, obviously they did not consider this part of the celebrations too important. But lets carry on ..

Then down the aisle I see the bridesmaids and then Jen & Donald. I sobbed … (so did Donald) It was a really beautiful ceremony. The DC gave an abridged version of her other talk, and there were a few readings, and Jen and Joey exchanged vows. They also managed to get Joey to break the glass (a la Jewish tradition) which was lovely. They then walked up the aisle husband and wife!

We then did the usual photos etc and had the wedding breakfast, speeches and dancing. The rain DID stop just as we arrived at the venue, and for the photos too – so that was just fabulous. The band were amazing, and everyone (including Lucy and Peter) were dancing at some stage of the night – there was a lovely atmosphere and it was just a fabulous party, both Jen & Joey obviously really enjoyed it too. Lucy and Peter really enjoyed it too, and I think were quite surprised at how the day had turned out.

Friday, Jen and Joey had arranged for their guests to visit a local beauty spot, waterfalls, and so coaches were laid on and packed lunches, and most people went along to that. Donald and I agreed that we would chill out at the hotel, and ended up joining up with J & J, Tam and Leila (the worlds best bridesmaids – who seemed to be going to live with J&J as they went on honeymoon with them too – well the first stage of the honeymoon anyway!). We caught up on the gossip and photo’s and had a lovely day.
We all split up for the evening, and we had a family meal at a local Chinese restaurant just down the road from us – we were 18, as Mark’s (my brothers) party was 8)

Just as we got back to the hotel in the evening (Friday 10 pm) , I had a text from Jen to inform me that they may be having to change the Saturday venue!!!!

Saturday morning we heard that the venue was not to be changed – it seems that there was some concern that the access to the hotel may not be passable – it was, so back to plan A.

At 10 am we loaded onto the bus and headed up the mountain, well up towards THE mountain – Kilimanjaro (which had not been seen for days because of the rain!) The access road was slippy and we had a few scares on the drive up to it, but all seemed to be going ahead with the preparations there. The do was supposed to start at 3.30, but we were having bets about whether it would be even on the go by 5, as we were all quite used to African time now. Flowers were being done, tables laid and tents were up.

We kicked Donald out again (poor chap) and dressed Jen in our room (rondella’s). This was the gold day, and I have to say she looked just amazing. We were taking it quite easy, having a drink and taking photo’s, when Donald came down at 3.30 to say that ‘you won’t believe it but everyone is seated!!!’

The rain had stopped about 2 hours previously! We walked Jen up to Joey and left them to make an entrance. This time I walked down the gold/yellow rose petal strewn aisle with Donald, and we were greeted with lots of ululating again. Then game the bride and groom ……

This was the Chagga party, and so there was lots of ululating, clapping and dancing. The goat cake (oh forgot to mention that there was one of them at the Thursday do too) was duly cut and then the traditional one was cut too – the bride and groom were each fed some, and they then fed some to their new respective in laws.

The basket ceremony took place, lots more ululating and clapping and singing and I then handed it to Jen with my few words of wisdom (I didn’t follow the script! – there’s a surprise!) I was also presented with a blanket, to keep me warm now that my daughter had left me!!

More wonderful food and lots of dancing. Then there was a surprise ceremony which I had not been warned about. The presenting of the Kanga’s – (the lengths of material which most women’s clothing is traditionally made from) (plus, according to Joanna Lumley, the most useful item in the world and the one thing she wanted to take with her on her dessert Island (discs) as it can be used for some many things)

I was led to a chair (and dragged Hil and Brenda with me) and we were sat down – on came the women with their ululating and singing, and each wrapped a kanga around us. There were loads possibly 20+, so it was getting a bit hot under them. They then danced around us singing and clapping – Daniel said that we looked like the three witches!!!

It all finished pretty early as most of the guests were from local villages and had to be bussed back, but it was another wonderful party.

And now it is over. Said farewell to guests as they drifted away on Sunday, cried buckets when Jen & Joey left (with Tam and Leila). They are spending a couple of days in Dar prior to flying to Botswana, and we are now in Zanzibar. Ad and Helen are in The Maldives for their belated honeymoon, and Dan and Vicky got back to Liverpool to discover a leak in their house and are now back to work.

Where does the time go! – the memories are wonderful, of Mwanza, game parks, parties, work, dala dalla’s and the wedding – and hopefully the photo’s will be good too. Donald is desperately hoping that this 10 day break we are having in luxury in Zanzibar will prepare me to go back home – I’m not so sure. I have loved being here and of course the wedding has been fantastic, we will see. But I am coming back - honest

So this will be my last blog (probably!) Thank you for reading it, for your patience and I will try not to bore you all too much on my return.

See you in the UK
Lots of love J